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Sunday, August 23, 2009

Posts

I'm doing quite a bit of free writing, so they are not always coherent. Don't read if you can help it. But of course, any normal person would continue reading after seeing this line. We are cheap bastards.

It's nothing much except a pathetic little bit of my life. I am pathetic and I know it. So don't read the post or you'll change your views about me.

Why am I still posting it if I didn't really want to let you see it? You know, it's one of those 'I want you to know, or maybe, I don't' kind of thing.

So come on, let me hear you say it.WHATEVER.

O.K. Just so we are clear, the 'you' above is generic, the 'you' below is not. They are DIFFERENT.
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I love your posts.

You always find these amazing pictures that goes along so well. Pictures speak a thousand words they say. I tried looking for pictures that goes with my blogs too. They never turned out so well. FYI, I searched on Yahoo! and Google image. Did you take the pictures yourself, or are you just a better searcher than me?

I don't always get your posts. I am so out of your life, that I have no idea what you are talking about, who you are talking sometimes. I wish I know more. It's been three, four years since we've met. More than half the time I disappeared. I guess it's all my fault.

Plus, I am quite sure I screwed up big time. So big that I didn't think anything is possible anymore. But I still like you. And I am holding on to this remote idea that I have no idea where I found it, that I might still have a chance. So, everyday I would log on to the Internet and take a look at your blog, just to know how you are doing. I would sometimes look at your facebook to see what you've been up to. No worries, I am no stalker. It just comes with liking you.

I would text you sometimes and hope you would reply. Sometimes, after I text you I would look at the phone just to see if you've replied. The replies come only half the time. Then comes the part where I wonder if you are just busy, or you are thinking, 'this dude's not worth my time.'

But you see, I cannot ask you. Or maybe I should. But I never believed in people being obligated to reply texts. I don't sometimes. Plus, it's not as if we've got something on. So far, everything's only been a figment of my imagination. It would be too pushy, not to say freaky, even I would think so, if I send texts asking you why you didn't reply the last text.

Of course, I never really said anything. Except that one fateful night 4 years ago. You might not remember, though I always think girls remember everything. Plus there are things I would like to forget too.

So like I said, everything is a figment of my imagination and I imagined too much.

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