This is not working.
More than once each day, I think about quitting, when I can possibly find the money to pay the liquidated damages, how this is not what I want to do, how bad I am at this teaching job.
I have problems coming up with what to teach and how to teach. I get headaches and I haven't slept properly for a long time.
Why did I get myself into this predicament of no return.
And all this while, I should be focusing on churning out the work. All these distractions are not helping and it just ends up in a vicious cycle.
Even if I somehow manage to scrape through these 10 weeks, there's still 3 years to go.
I want to sleep. And never wake up again. The end is nowhere near.
2 comments:
Hang in there. You've been through far worse than this, and you already made it through successfully. Don't let these negativity get you down. You know inside your heart, you can and will certainly make it.
You chose to become a teacher, because you wanted to make a change and you did.
I'm sure it will all pass and in good time, everything will straighten out. Bon courage.
May I remind you of what you posted on Saturday, August 30, 2008at 2308hrs. Please pay special attention to your last sentence.
"Happy Teachers' Day
September 1st is Teachers' Day. Barely 1 month and a week into the job and I am celebrating this day that serves to commemorate the hardwork and contribution that teachers make in educating the lives and minds of our nation's youth.
For my first Teachers' Day, I received a card, a windchime, a notepad, a notebook and 2 pens from my students. Being new on the job, I had not expected to receive anything as I do not feel that I made a difference. Nevertheless, it was kind of heartwarming when the students came up to me and presented their gifts.
Still, being the cynic that I am, I could not help but feel that they are just nice students that prepared something for every teacher that taught them. But then again, maybe I had done something that had an impact in their young lives.
Ah, the little things that made this job one that's worthwhile."
di, please don't quit. not when there are so many of us behind you. nobody was born a perfect, interesting and effective teacher. God knows i've had my fair share of the downs in this job.
you'll get better as time goes by. we'll meet up during the holidays to plan for next year when you finally start REAL teaching.
you just need to focus on surviving the next 2-3 weeks. after that you can get the rest that you so need.
hang in there, alright? *hugz*
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